C is for Clue x 4

From Wikipedia.

Sometimes, things are a subtle as a 2x4 to the head. I call such "subtleties" clue by fours. Or clue x 4. You get the idea...

I'm not always the most observant person. It has taken some former partners of mine literally straddling my lap and kissing me before I realized that they might be interested back. As I said, as subtle as a 2x4 to the head. But what does this have to do with paganism, witchcraft, or other such woo?

Many of us are a little bit dense when it comes to our practices. Sometimes it takes getting beat over the head with a clue x 4 more than once for us to wake up and listen. Or, in my case, the ceiling literally falling in, because that's how much subtly is in my life.

A while ago I had one of my worst depressive episodes, shit got real bad. And that was when I started to really pick back up my practice. My college had not been religion-friendly, and I hadn't changed my non-practicing habits immediately after. So, when the shit hit the fan (unemployed, depressed, single) I had the time to sit down and begin again. I picked up my tarot deck and sat down to see what it had to say.

In the first few weeks after picking it up? I learned every way possible for my Tarot de Marseille deck to tell me I was depressed. I ask about anything, and it's reply was "you're depressed." Not advice on something to do, not telling me it was going to get better or worse, just every way possible of smacking reality in my face. Apparently, since I was finally learning to read from more than just the little white book, my deck decided to make it very easy for me to understand what it was saying. Anytime those cards pop up? I know what they mean. I know the variations on the theme, upright, reversed, sideways, blocked, blocking, I know those cards. And though I finally got it on another subject, my deck chooses to continue with the smackings of my head. When I branched out into another deck, it shared the head-smacking qualities.

I warn people when I read for them that I will seem to state the obvious. That my readings will not be what they want to hear, and that even when I have absolutely no clue what the shit I am saying to them means, they will have no doubt as to the meaning of my words.

My divination methods seem to think I'm a thick-headed child. Who is they must speak to slowly, in small words, and quite possibly at the top of their lungs.

Except the Runes. I've finally begun reading with them, and it still a clue x4, but instead of a simple 2x4, it's an elaborately carved 2x4 with beautiful and detailed drawings smacking my head repeatedly.

Maybe some people can pick up on the little things. A song or two, something overheard from conversations, etc. My ADHD brain doesn't pick up on them in any permanent way. It floats right on by, and even if I notice it's quickly lost to the next passing squirrel.

It isn't that the little things don't matter. The conversation after a class at a completely unrelated event, the squall line across a lake, a moment spent cuddling with the dog... They matter, personally and spiritually, even religiously. But the meaning is that which I have inscribed. Those moments are moments of faith and appreciation. They aren't unexamined, things to ponder, messages I need to understand, or lessons to learn.

So, Universe... what are you smacking me upside the head with tonight?