Someone's Unholy Abomination

I'm someone's unholy abomination.

No, that's not true. I'm plenty of people's unholy abomination. I'm trans, meaning though I was female assigned at birth (FAAB,) I do not identify as a girl/women. I'm in fact, non-binary trans, in that I don't identify as a guy either. I've physiologically altered my body because I'm trans, shoving a needle in my ass every week to inject testosterone into my system. I'm queer, meaning that I sleep with and date people all over the gender map, and pretty much no matter who I sleep with there is some way it would be construed as homosexual sex. I'm poly, in that I date, love, and hookup with multiple people at a time in an open and honest manner. I'm kinky in that I like to hurt people, be hurt, as well as many other things (and if you think kinkiness isn't considered an abomination to some, just think about many people's reactions to the thought of slapping a partner around until they bruise.) I work/drive on the Sabbath, anyone's Sabbath in fact.

And that isn't even to mention my non-acceptance of monotheistic perspectives in my own life, let alone the lack of subservience to them.

I'm my brother's abomination. He's a very strict Jew (Chabad for those with a background in Judaism) and the fact that I transitioned, that I sleep with people, that I have and will continue to get tattoos, and that I don't keep kosher are huge deals to him. He pretty much can only handle interacting with me by internally convincing himself that I've got an inner Jew that actually does want to do mitzvot. There is a lot of not talking about religious issues when we spend time together, because both of us highly value family.

I'm my mother's abomination. I'm an abomination to her very ingrained feminist beliefs. She raised her daughter to grow up to be anything, and I grew up wanting to not be the daughter bit. Actually, she's generally great about gender stuff, but the idea that I want to get top surgery (removal of breast tissue and reconstruct my chest to look more as if estrogen never really got at me) is truly difficult for her. In her view, it's a radical mastectomy, it's body mutilation. When this comes up, she freely admits it's her bullshit and not mine, that she supports me regardless of her gut reaction. But regardless, I am still her abomination.

There are atheists who would find my strong belief in the gods abominable, even if they would vehemently deny the "unholy" aspect.

I don't believe in unconditional love from my Deities, from the Universe. Much like I don't believe in an omnipotent, omnipresent, (or similar omni traits) God, I don't believe in omnibenevolence. But I don't believe that simply because I'm queer, trans, simply because I had fish this morning or milk in my coffee that I'm unloved. I believe in disappointment, in apathy, and I do believe that some deities have things they hold as abominations, but the one's I worship and follow don't hold me as one such abomination.

Maybe I simply follow the darker gods, maybe I simply follow the Goddesses and Gods of Abominations... but that doesn't make me an unholy one.